


Clarissa and Her Son

by imbeccacile



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 22:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12874650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbeccacile/pseuds/imbeccacile
Summary: The loss of Martin Stein has really taken its toll on his friends and family. Though, no one quite as much as Jax and Clarissa. They both have lost their other half, and they don't know how to cope.





	Clarissa and Her Son

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry. Enjoy your pain just as much as I did!

Clarissa wasn't sure how long she had been staring at that picture in her lap, but she was pulled out of her blank, numb state as a few tears splashed her husband's smiling, younger face.

It was a picture from their wedding. She remembered how beautiful she felt in her white dress, but only after she had seen the look on Martin's face as she had walked down the aisle. That was enough. All the fear of getting married was washed away, because Martin was her home. Her forever. They would spend eternity together.

At least, that was what she thought.

She sniffed rather loudly. Martin wouldn't want this. He'd want, more than anything, for her to be strong. Spend time with her family. With their grandson.

She couldn't bear to look at his face any longer. It just made it hurt a million times more. Gently, she placed the picture back down on her dresser and turned, taking in the sight of their bed. Of her bed. It was empty. Cold. Uninviting. The last thing she wanted to do was get into it.

It had only been three days since Jax had broken the news, but it felt like an eternity for her. She had lost her other half, and it was something she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.

Bleary eyes found the clock on the wall after a few blinks, another tear rolling down her face. 4:37 am. She had slept, but not much. How long? Two hours, maybe.

Clarissa drew herself up. She couldn't stand around here anymore. She might as well make herself useful, if she couldn't sleep.

Slipping out of the door quietly, she glanced at the closed door across the hall. Silence. Maybe Lily was finally getting some sleep. The baby had certainly been riled up after all the emotion of the last few days, and he had been hard to get to sleep without crying almost as much as they had been.

Ronnie missed his grandfather.

Clarissa tiptoed out into the living room. Just as she had expected, the TV was still on, the soft sounds of an infomercial playing while the blue light illuminated the couch in front of it. She bit her bottom lip, very quietly walking over to the side of the couch.

Jax sat there in the same position she had left him in; pressed into the corner near the arm, as if trying to make himself smaller. The only difference was that now, he was asleep, head resting on his shoulder.

Clarissa knew that if he slept like that, he’d wake up with a sore neck in the morning. But she couldn’t bear to wake him. After all, he hadn’t slept since the funeral.

She knew, because after she had invited him back to their house, he hadn’t been able to leave. Not the she blamed the poor child. In fact, out of everyone else, he knew exactly what she was going through. He had lost his other half, too.

Of course, nobody could really get a word out of him. Even his mother had come by, and she hadn’t been able to get him to say more than a few words. He just continued to stare blankly at the TV screen, though he was never really watching it. She cooked and cleaned to distract herself, but it seemed almost as if Jax had forgotten how to live. He refused to eat, and refused to sleep.

When Raymond had come by the day before, red-eyed, trying and failing to look as if he hadn’t been crying, asking for Jax, Clarissa had had to be strong. 

“He’s not ready to help you fight,” she had explained in a gentle tone, allowing the man to come in and try to get Jax to speak, or go with them. She had tried not to eavesdrop, but she heard Jax mumble that everything reminded him of “Gray.” She had to run to her room and swallow down her sobs.

Clarissa realized quite belatedly that she’d been staring at Jax, at the boy who Martin had thought of as a son, at the boy who would have done anything for her husband. She clapped a hand over her mouth, stifling a sob, and shut her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her hand and moved to bring the blanket that had fallen onto the floor back around Jax’s shoulders. She bent down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

After making sure he was comfortable, she headed to the kitchen where she began cleaning, yet again. There wasn’t much to be done, of course. She had pretty much tidied the whole house about three times already. But she found a singular glass in the sink and washed it. After putting it away, the silence of before wasn’t quite so silent.

Carefully stepping back into the living room, she saw Jax was moving. Mumbling. The blanket had been kicked off and he looked terrified. Clarissa clenched her fists. She had seen this look before, on her husband’s face. It was never pretty.

Briskly, she walked over to the boy and knelt in front of him, nudging his arm gently. “Jefferson,” she whispered softly, and as soon as the name left her lips he was sitting straight up with a scream, chest rising and falling heavily as he looked around the room. “Jefferson, look at me, honey,” she continued, and sure enough, his eyes slowly found hers. “That’s it.”

Slowly, she moved to sit beside him, rubbing his back. That always helped Martin calm down in the past. But Jax had already broken down, and the sobs were coming so hard it seemed like he was having trouble breathing. There was no doubt in her mind that his dream had been about Martin.

She had to be strong.

Clarissa pulled him close, holding him tightly in her embrace to let him cry against her shoulder. She knew, wherever Martin was, he was watching. She knew he’d be proud of her. That’s what kept her strong.

It was a half hour later when Jax began to relax, breathing slowly but surely returning to normal. But he didn’t give any indication that he was ready to leave the embrace, and before they both knew it, his breathing had evened out completely, and it took Clarissa a moment to realize he had fallen asleep again. The poor child had tired himself out.

She didn’t dare move. Not one inch.

When Lily found them the next morning, they were in the same position. Holding each other; asleep together.

And that was the best sleep either of them had gotten in awhile.


End file.
